City to Unveil Tevez, 2-3-5 Formation

By: Thad | July 13th, 2009

Lucky readers should know they’ve just barely avoided reading the cliche “worst kept secret in football” in this post about Carlos Tevez’s official arrival as a Manchester City player. (It was the first thing that came to mind, but I thought better of it.) Instead, with news that City also may be close to signing Emmanuel Adebayor from Arsenal, I think the time is ripe to share what inside sources tell me Mark Hughes’s tactics will be this season.

City plan to roll back the football clock some eighty or so years by bringing back the once-vaunted 2-3-5 formation. Micah Richards and Nedum Onuoha will be the defenders. The midfield will feature Gareth Barry, Nigel De Jong, and Stephen Ireland.

Finally, across the front City will play Robinho (outside left), Emmanuel Adebayor (inside left), Roque Santa Cruz (centre forward), Carlos Tevez (inside right), and Shaun Wright-Phillips (outside right). Craig Bellamy and Valeri Bojinov will also be heavily involved off the bench.

This tactical plan certainly makes a dramatic change of direction for Mark Hughes, but he apparently has been persuaded by club CEO Garry Cook’s belief that City’s worldwide brand will be bolstered by being known as the Official Club of the Nine Goal Thriller (no matter which end the goals happen to go into). City also announced that keeper Shay Given’s contract has been re-written to give him generous “Not-That-Dirty Sheet” bonuses, which he will earn when allowing three goals or less in a given contest.

To be sure, these tactical plans could yet change, as soon as the likes of Caicedo, Benjani, and perhaps one or two others finish packing their bags. One thing is for sure, however: City this summer have already completed a rare quadruple this summer, managing to either nick or annoy all of the Big Four clubs: grabbing Barry ahead of Liverpool, Tevez directly from United, seriously unsettling John Terry and consequently Chelsea, and now apparently bringing in the unique talents of Adebayor from Arsenal.

Mind you, however, Arsenal fans seem not at all displeased at this deal; time will tell whether Adebayor (if he signs) shows himself to be a half-hearted mercenary, as Gunner fans now claim. If he does, however, he won’t find room on the pitch at City–that is, unless Hughes and Cook persist in their plans to go 2-3-5.